Digby Dogbreath and Henrietta Halitosis

Henrietta Halitosis

Suffered a very cruel fate

The thing that you’d find if you got up too close is

Her breath smelt of rotting fish bait.

Digby Dogbreath’s isolation

Began when he was thirteen,

For Digby’s every exhalation

Made all those around him turn green.

But Digby loved Ms Halitosis,

And she to her Dogbreath was true,

They imbibed their environment as through osmosis,

Though the rest of the world just said “Poo!”

Very few people would venture too near,

For the airwaves around them were foul.

But they never felt sad or rejected no fear!

And you’d never see them frown or scowl.

One day Henrietta said, “Digby my love,

I‘ve got the most wonderful news;

We’ve been blessed with a gift from the stork up above;

And in eight months a baby is due”.

Their joy was complete for a couple of days,

As they floated on cloud number nine

But slowly a question formed out of the haze,

At the back of Hen’s practical mind.

Genetical issues worried her slightly,

Her child should be happy and strong,

So she went to her doctor to ask him politely

If afflictions like hers were passed on.

The doctor told her that she mustn’t worry

Her baby was healthy and stout.

And then tried to get her to leave in a hurry

Before all his patients passed out.

On the day of the birth, proud Digby was there

To encourage and help Henrietta,

He told her to breathe, not to gulp in the air,

Though the nurse thought not breathing was better.

When the baby was born, she opened her eyes

And let out her very first shout

And the pong it produced was no great surprise,

Her parentage never in doubt.

So Harriet Dogbreath – Halitosis,

Who’s known to the whole world as Hal,

Is happy and loved, and I don’t think she’s noticed,

She’ll never be no femme fatale.